The problem with marriage is its constancy.
Which means, of course, you can spend some time there later: next week, next month, next year, or after the kids leave. The result? Your marriage fades into one of those background things in your life with things like old pairs of jeans, brushing your teeth, walking the dog, and the like. It’s the “normal” and “familiar” in our lives that seem to breed a familiar contempt and an avoidance of our focus.
It seems we’re wired as humans to be attracted to the new. Attracted to the next thing, the latest movie, the greener grass. Even a hint of new is enough to get us leaving what we’re used to and seeking it out. And the thing about this quest for excitement is that engaging it causes us to live faster and faster – skipping from one thing to the next. Some of us can’t stop it!
But a great marriage isn’t about living faster, it’s about living deeper. Because under the surface of all the things that promise satisfaction are the quiet voices of the things in life that really do satisfy. And marriage is found there, under the rough seas and constant change in one’s life, biding its time, waiting for you and I to notice that it’s still there and still wonderful.
That’s why it’s smart to learn to live deeper when it comes to marriage. On the surface, your single friends may have more freedom and more fun. But deeper than that, down in the foundations of your life that really count, where you are becoming more you, you’ve got something that will never change and will get richer in time because you’ve learned to take time to cherish it: your marriage.
Spend some time there now. The great thing about marriage is it’s constancy.
