Creating a Moment

I was arrested in my kitchen today. No, not by police, far from it. It was by my wife, Mara. She stood there in her part of a ballroom dance pose awaiting the other half: me. I played along and after teasing me with her smile and drifting around the room for a bit she whispered, “Happy Half Anniversary.”

You have to understand this about my wife: she’s a mathematician, and she remembers dates. So everyone in our home gets their birthday celebrated, and their half-birthdays. Quarter-birthdays often get mentioned, too… I think you get the picture.

So I know she’s right. Sure enough, 17 and a half years ago today, we said “I do.” This post, however, isn’t about how far we’ve come, or the road ahead or any of that. Rather it’s about the importance of the ballroom dance pose in the kitchen, and the invitation to celebrate the moment together.

The longer we’re married the more we realize it’s the little ways of celebrating that can pack the most joy. They are the excuses to make an otherwise ordinary moment more special, and they often end up stirring our love for each other more deeply: like the impromptu date in between the ones you have planned. Or buying her a single rose because you realize it’s the anniversary of the day you first met, or had your first kiss, or got engaged. Or writing him a love note along with an extra special lunch, to remind him how much you appreciate him. Or setting the CD player to play “your song” the next time they start the vehicle. And yes, it’s remembering the day that marks your “half anniversary” and celebrating it with a slow waltz around the kitchen.

These moments to celebate each other await you hidden in your average days. Moments like these frame your experiences together and highlight all the wonder and gratitude of being together. Done right, you’ll feel it all over again. If you look for these chances you’ll start to find them everywhere. If you act on them, they’ll arrest you in ordinary places like kitchens and invite you up into the dance of love.