Posts Tagged ‘goal’

Your life together is a lot like a “team” sports game – as in soccer, football or hockey. In your marriage, don’t think your significant other is on the opposite team as you – you’re on the same side! As a team, it’s up to the both of you to figure out how to move the ball down the field together.

This analogy begs a few questions:

What is the “ball?” We think that the ball is the quality of life you live together. It’s the sum total of your finances, home-life, satisfaction with careers, the way you raise your children, and the way you spend your free time. It’s what you work on together. You can’t talk about it in isolation from each other in the same way you can’t walk away from the ball in a sport and still be meaningfully involved on the field. For, what is the quality of life if one person doesn’t show up, or worse, gives up?

What is your “end goal?” For both of you, what is the one thing, after the careers have been lived and the kids are parenting their own kids, you to want to have accomplished? If you’re in the market for a great, ongoing discussion, this is the basis of one indeed! Start with a list of what that one thing could be, and discuss it from there. Re-word it, narrow the focus, work on a whiteboard together, dream and talk until a single theme or agenda emerges. This is your target.

What’s your “game plan?” It’s up to the two of you to navigate how to win the game. To pass the responsibility of input and activities from one to the other as you move towards the mark. It’s up to the two of you to strategize ways around what holds you back and around that which would, if unchallenged, take the ball in the other direction. Not only that, what are the ways to use the structures and people in your life who want to help you get to your end goal?

Yes, your marriage is like a sports game; it’s up to you to determine the target and play your part. Pursue it together.


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