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Posts Tagged ‘solution’

We live in a results-oriented, I-need-it-now world. Of course this is counter-culture to great and lasting love-relationships. In this kind of world it pays to remind ourselves that building intimacy, serving generously, and loving well all take time.

When it comes to love, think “nurturing a garden” not “fixing a vehicle.” With a truck or car you can pay to diagnose the problem, go buy a part, install it, slam the hood, and VIOLA, on to other things. However, don’t try that in your marriage, PLEASE!

See, a vehicle is just supposed to work. It’s supposed to be there when you need it, and just wait around for you the rest of the time. It’s meant to perform the way you expect, and you have a right to demand that it does whenever you want. If it doesn’t you probably neglected something or other, or a part wore out, and it’s just a matter of getting it fixed. When that’s done it’s reliable once again.

A marriage, on the other hand, only “works” if you nurture it regularly. Love grows like a garden and needs regular watering, fertilizing, pruning and protecting. Only then will it be there when you need it, and in your awareness as a delight the rest of the time. A marriage performs according to the way you invest in it and you have no right to expect anything else. If you do, you’ve probably missed a finger you should be pointing at yourself, or it’s time to learn more about your partner, and just a matter of developing a little humility. When you can see it this way your marriage will become “reliable” once again.

Therefore, for whatever relationship woes you may encounter: find out ways to nurture solutions, not just fix the problems.

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